love sucks.

Okay. So here it goes. I have never in my life been this confused about a boy before. I possibly loved H. But I know that is a tough topic so I'll avoid it. What I am talking about is K. I do not know why but for some reason I want him to like me sooo bad. There are many reasons why I like him but I have always wondered why he likes S and not me. I think about it each and every day and I still cannot come up with the solution. Sure he has liked her for 2 months but hello! She's not that special. Sorry if I sound like a brat but this is bothering me. Not being conceited or anything but I think I am just as pretty as she is. This always happens. Whenever I fall for a guy he likes someone else. And everyone says, "Oh Nikki. It's not a big deal. He was too stupid to say yes. He doesn't know what he's missing." But after awhile that saying gets old and you feel so crappy that you want to just give up. I continue to tell myself that I am Nikki and I AM fabulous. But it doesn't work. And all around you your best friends have boys that love them and you think, "How come the boy I like doesn't like me?" Rough. That's the suckiest situation ever. Boys were so much easier when they had cooties. But for me they never did. My first crush was pre-k. Imagine that. I loved a boy when I was a tot. But of course he didn't love me because he thought I had "cooties". Lovely. I start to think about high school and all the boys that I will meet there but what if they do not like me? I think I would be better off a hermit... Sounds good.


So hopefully he gets over S. But it's doubtful. Whatever. I'll get over it. Again.


Love your depressed friend,
Nikki
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